Embodied Masculine Experience with Sacred Sons
A written reflection by Billy Lewis — October 2024
Our group of committed men
Earlier this year I attended the Sacred Sons Embodied Masculine Experience (EMX) in NSW, Australia. 100 or so brave men gathered in the bush for 4 days of immersion in brotherhood, paddling on to this global tidal wave of men’s empowerment and connection.
It’s funny how only 4 days can hold so much variety in one experience. This one was all the things for me. Rich. Deep. Challenging. Enlivening. Confusing. Numb. Awkward. Expansive. Particularly being surrounded by other Kiwis and Australians with our very nuanced masculine challenges and quirks. Finding how we connect beyond the rugby changing rooms or the (comfortable) mask of alcohol culture.
We moved through various processes together, centred around connection, primal embodiment, mother/father relationships, etc. Also just shared a lot of good kai and laughter between processes. It wasn’t all heavy — actually some of the moments in this experience were full of banter and light connection.
Gathering together in the morning, before our primal embodiment practice.
Ritual combat training — providing a safe container for a challenging boxing match
Sacred Sons are leading the way for men’s work across the world.
On the final night, I had just chopped my mane after 8 years of growing it out, and I put my hand up to represent our team, Hawthorn Clan, in an inter-group boxing match, also known as Ritual Combat. This intention for this fight is not about winning. Nor is it about smashing another man or boosting the ego. It is a chance for a man to meet his own edge. In a safe and sacred rendition of Fight Club, with 100 gorillas around amping us up, I met mine. 3 long, exhausting, exhilarating minutes of leaning into fear and anger, again and again.
Pre-chop hair
The first cut
My opponent was Lucas Clark. Synchronistically we had met a few years prior, when he came to my yin yoga class in Raglan. From yin to yang, I was blessed to meet this man in both extremities. After his first punch knocked me in the head, I wanted to kill the guy. I had done plenty of boxing and martial arts as a teenager, but this was the first time I really felt the primal fire of wanting to destroy another man. With love. The love unlocked by the raw and real need to defend myself. To claim my space.
The beginning of the challenge
Post fight reflection, after our hug of gratitude
In an even fight, with no winner, Lucas and I finished with a hug full of gratitude. What I learned from this experience was finding the line between love and strength. To integrate the two. Previously I had been more inclined to be soft, yielding and quiet. This fight and other experiences unlocked an embodied sense of integrating healthy anger. Using anger and fear consciously, as a driving force to set boundaries and stand up for what I believe in.
This sensation came not for myself, but really for those around me. My parter, future children, and my community. To protect that which is sacred and is true - with all of these intense changes and rapid evolution of our society, the fundamentals of healthy relationships, multi-faceted wellbeing and traditional family values feel ever more important.
Celebrating our brother Sean
Inner child exercise
Morning practice as a full group
Sacred Sons are one of the organisations that are leading the way in men’s work across the world. The Mankind Project is another. These projects are a part of a force of transformation that is rippling through the hearts of men and families across the world to write a different story. They provide a space for men to sharpen their sword, so to speak.
Fortunately, I’ve been surrounded by a community of men in Aotearoa NZ for the last few years, who are bringing this work home. We have formulated an offering called BROS, and are providing courses, events, online offerings and more.
We welcome you to join us. Check out our events here.
Ngā mihi aroha,
Billy
